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Staycation

by Low Lives

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1.
Bothering 02:26
Sorry I bothered you last night, I was drunk in my room. The screen was burning my blurry eyes and I had no one to talk to. Another hurricane came through last week it took down old weary trees and in my path it left snow, I was running out of places to go. Her foot prints were melting away and I had nothing left to say but there was never anything to say and that finally felt okay. So there I was drunk in my room, sorry if I was bothering you but I had no one to, I had no one to talk to.
2.
I arrived home to my distraction called life, thinking of all the ways it's passed me by. This may be the time the world's in front of me. Still feel like I'm left behind. And now it's spring but it doesn't feel like it anymore cause I'm still stuck behind this door. And looks fade as I'm starring into nothing, moving for somebody else. Just let me leave early, cause I can't sit here like this when I know what it's like out there. There's a lot more earth than me. Yet I still think of the moon and what's passed my eyes can see, the idea's so far from me but there's a lot more worlds than this. I'm left thinking about places I love, places I'll never see. I'm tied down to thoughts of normalcy and complacency.
3.
Staycation 02:02
I wanted to be your summer, I wanted to get stuck in your smile. I wanted to forget what was bothering me and hang around for a while. Yeah I fucked up that summer. I was such a bummer. I didn't realize you and I were ruining eachother. Now I'm waking up from dreams of people and places I wish I could see. This grey sky out the window, there's nothing but the cold. I should of had something to say, I let it all just slip away. I should've known what to do, maybe I'd still be talking to you. But I was holding on too long, I'm looking around and finally see nothing will be waiting for me. Except the cold. Frozen lawns and dead trees, rock salted streets and brown leaves. It keeps me wondering. Why? Good people always have to leave too soon.
4.
Left in the heat or left in the cold, left in a crowd or left all alone. There's nothing right to write or what should be home. No one's waiting for me, at least I can see that the time in my head reflects the same progress as the time that I spend with no one else. So the dirty clothes pile and garbage never is thrown, it worsens, it grows. The ailments and pains, ignored or untouched, until something must go. I build up every possibility in my head knock them down promptly and leave truly solid. You said it's fine, don't apologize, we move on in time, it's worth the climb. I can see no one's waiting.
5.
It's for the better my body will age, for all thus wasted time I never had a nice thing to say. It's for the better my eyes become grey, my faults are becoming apparent I've been starring at them all day. I thought I'd reach an age where things got better or stay the same. If this illusion reaches an end, tell me to go away. I can't argue with that or even try to change. All this time you've been drowning by my side, you were kicking against the tide. In a bottomless black sea you were trying to swim for me. Yeah.
6.
When you say to me that, "it's already better." I'm just stuck on tether. I say I know. Just shrug off all complaints and give in to my restraint and I let go. I'm still disappointed I'm not living the life thought I never would, my realism escapes from time to time just long enough to have my hopes and dreams take shape and fall through these hands because I can't hold onto them. When you say to me that, "you've got this brand new plan, a couple months you're a brand new man." But what changes stay. When your habits won't go away from plan I'm led astray. I'm still disappointed that I'm not living the life, thought I never would. My realism escapes from time to time just long enough to have my hopes and dreams take shape and fall through these hands because I can't hold onto them. And I'll watch them hit the fucking ground and look over to the rest who can't seem to notice what was lost from our grip. Tonight maybe we'll have enough time to complete every promise swore we'd always keep.
7.
You said please don't dissapear. I still hear your voice from that night. When I stare at this wall, I guess we never meant what we said. I just hope you're doing better than me. But there is something wrong. Something cold and fucked in my head that hides my eyes with shame and regret. It holds me back and you'll learn to resent, if you'd see through it, you'd see how sorry I am. The N tonight is empty the riders hang their heads. A slow ride back to manhattan, a resounding chorus of "what if's?" The N tonight is so lonely the rails they rattle and bend, is this the last time I'll see you? Is this who I really am? You're better off without me.
8.
Did you think that no one would notice, that you could fool us all and start making some new friends all so you could be cool again. Just walk in like you've owned the place for the last ten years and fake it til you make it! Chant a few slogans, hand out a few demos to all your "heroes." Your next step ahead has been my life's love and I'm sorry if I can't welcome you with open arms when I know what you're about. Did you think that he cares now, he really cares noe. He'll just pretend until we find out, I hope you find out. Your feigned excitement is now the life of the party you'd never attend. When you were king of your own thing or maybe it was the same back then. Why am I upset? What does this say about me? Why can't I stop thinking about it! I don't even know you but I guess that's the point. You never will no matter how hard you try.
9.
Gas Cans 02:31
Standing in line shivering with empty gas cans, so we could make it home from work that night. I thought I'd get myself away from this skyline after a 14 hour drive. Good morning, goodbye. It seems I haven't got much time. Excited with my sadness, these shadows keep on asking me, "what am I doing with my life?" If given the chance at this, I'll avoid your eyes and always miss, remembering I'm still alive. But just like this terrible weather I'll get worse before I get better. I'll get better. All my life I've been trying to get it right, I can't get it right. And all this time I can't get it right. I'll never get it right.
10.
Lackluster 03:17
Riding bikes back from the train, we got caught out in the rain but that was alright, the water conveyed a sentiment. I can't say why, I've never felt more content standing here soaking wet, fluorescent lit city cement. How hard to retain a specific set of images left in your head. Fire works, cheap beer, a roof top in Tompkins square. All these nights just blur together or are wasted away, funny how that night I couldn't even see. I was a second in your eyes. At least I tried.

credits

released June 2, 2015

Recorded and mixed in July of 2014 in Huntington Station, NY with Phil Douglas at Hobo House.

Mastered by Kris Hayes in Brooklyn, NY at Easy Plateau Productions (easyplateauproductions.com)

Backup vocals on "Staycation", "King of Sting", "Some Things Not Worth Saving" and "The Former/Ladder" by Jess Warren of Tin Can Collective.

Album artwork by Ilana Hope (ilanahopeart.com)

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Low Lives New York, New York

punk band from new york.

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